Friday, July 18, 2008

Good things come in three, Tough decisions come in two

Sometimes one idea is duplicated, and the result is so much like the former that is hard to determine which one is better. Here are some things that conveniently emerged at the same time and that I have taken the liberty to crown the better part of the pair.

Boyband Hearthrobs Who Didn't Age Well but Attempted a Comeback a Decade Later Anyways: New Kids on The Block vs Menudo

Why?: that is the question I need to ask twice (naturally). 1. Why in god's name would grown men think it's okay to sing "I was like, "hey, girl, can I get your number"/I remember what you told me too, /"Don't call after ten"/But you know that I did, /'Cause I couldn't stop thinkin' 'bout you."? The slang and content in it's entirety is beyond inappropriate. 2. Why did the music industry really think pop-listeners wanted more boy bands? That's so 20th century; I want catchy pop-emo ("Shake It" by Metro Station is such a good guilty pleasure) and badly-lyricized R&B (Have you heard the new LL Cool J? See me in the club.)
The NKOTB site says, "New Kids On The Block — five now fully-grown men who forever defined what the modern boy band would look and sound like — are back together for the very first time in nearly a decade and a half, and currently hard at work on their first new album since 1994." That may be the most embarrassing introduction I have ever read in my life. "Five fully-grown men who forever defined what the modern boy band would like and sound like"… sounds more like five fully-grown mean who can't escape their boy band mold and figured "don't fight it, embrace it." I'd probably do the same thing if I was in their shoes.

There's no real competition here. Menudo wins by a landslide. I still do not know why these boys' manager wanted to market the group as Menudo when they could have very well given them a fresh, new name. Any chance to cultivate Menudo fans of the 1980s into listeners of the new crew was lost when those same girls ditched their TeenBeats and neon scrunchies for real jobs to support their children and husband.

Winner: Menudo

Who's Got the Magic Stick: The Illusionist vs The Prestige

I love magic and anything set pre-1950, so when I heard about the release of The Illusionist and The Prestige in 2006, I thought I had just hit the jackpot.

Both casts were pretty spectacular. The Illusionist had Ed Norton and Jessica Beal and The Prestige snagged Christian Bale and Scarlett Johansson. I'd have to say that the Prestige's cast just seems to be a downgraded version to the Illusionist's. That's not just my immense love for Norton talking, but I do have to admit I lost some respect for Johansson once she released her own album.

I don't completely remember either of the films, and some parts from both run together (can you blame me?), but I'm pretty positive that I was extremely disappointed with The Illusionist. The Prestige had more of an interesting story, which was about two rivals that competed to be the best magician on the market at that time. The Illusionist was more of a love story, a weak one with some kind of unbelievable twist.

Winner: The Prestige (Don't take it personal, Ed. I still love you.)

Young, Smooth and Oh-so Fine: Chris Brown vs Ne-Yo

I grapple with this battle on a constant basis, so much so that I hate to really even sit down and make myself pick between these boys. Barely legal and angel voices.. does there really have to be a winner? Can't I just have both?When I used to have a cellphone with the capacity to visit GetItNow and download actual ringtones, "My Sounds" folder was pretty much split evenly with Chris Brown and NeYo realtones. The two heartthrobs came onto the music scene at relatively the same time, but they often released singles at different times. I had the luxury of switching between their songs as they were released instead of having to choose which song was better.

So let's break down the eye-candy into three categories: cuteness, songs and dance.First up, Chris Brown. He's a dime; I'm going for 10 out of 10 on cuteness. Not only does he have a perfect complexion and great smile but he was dancing in an oversized shirt modeled after the first C. Brown, Charlie Brown, in his video "Yo." Charm and wit earns you a perfect score; take note boys. As for NeYo, he's pretty good looking, but he only scales an 8 on my meter. On to songs, Chris Brown has good a good selection. I'm loving his use of electronics in his latest single "Forever," and I loved "Kiss Kiss." But if I never hear "Run It" again, I'll die happy. Ne-Yo is some stiff competition for Mr. Brown. "Sexy Love" might have stayed as my ringtone so long that I'm convinced my friends now associate that song with me from hearing it so often. I still love "Because of You" even though I'm pretty sure it has been on the radio for probably a year now; I don't think I'll ever get sick of it. Ne-Yo wins the song portion. Last but not least, dance. I love to dance so my man is going to have to either have sick moves, or at least a decent two-step. Chris Brown is fantastic, just watch any of his videos. Ne-Yo dances but I don't think his stage presence can compare.

Winner: Chris Brown

Disagree? Can you think of other competing pairs? Who wins out? Leave a comment!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

had chris brown not won you would have had a very unpleased reader.. and his songs way over shadow ne-yo's.
i leave you with this gem.

All you gotta do is watch me, look what I can do with my feet. Baby, feel the beat inssiiiideee.

Ava said...

Hi, just blog hopping. AJust wanted to let you know that actually, the song Summertime has a subtext to it. It's a homage to their fans 20 years ago when they and their fans first discovered each other. Hence the shoutout in the beginning, "Jones Beach! 1988!" Kinda like a conversation between them and us.

This song is a "knock on the door" so to speak, that they're using to tell us fans "Hey! We're here! We're back! We missed you!" And that's why the lyrics are like that and why it sounds so similar to the music they made in the past. It was done on purpose.

I assure you, the rest of their new album will be completely different. Jordan has said that Summertime is the most "pop-y" song they have that would most remind fans of what they used to sound like. Have you check out "Click Click Click?" Very smooth & sexy...